Spilt Milk
by FantaOrange
Summary: Naruto's once passionate relationship with Sasuke is on the rocks. Naruto cannot deal with all the attention Sasuke gets. Sasuke cannot deal with Naruto ignoring him any more. Will their love survive these turbulent times? AU. NaruSasu, among others. R&R.


Hey all :3

First chapter of a fairly long series of fis, I'm hoping, so enjoy, and go to the AN at the bottom of the page for further explanaitions (read: apologies).

Anyone who's wondering about my only other existing fic - I am working on it, sorry sorry sorry!

**CH1**

* * *

"You are such a dick!"

Naruto's shoulders stiffened, his whole body bristled and his blood boiled. He took his anger out - perhaps unfairly - on the white china bowl in his hand, by slamming it down on the thick, onyx kitchen worktop. He proceeded to wrench open the door of the cereal cupboard and roughly grabbed a box of cereal, poured a generous amount into the bowl and rebelliously left it sitting on the counter, rather than returning it to the cupboard.

_Serves that uptight bastard right_, Naruto thought wickedly and smirked. Calmer, he shuffled over in his socks to the tall, black, state-of-the-art refrigerator and reached inside for the bottle of milk, freshly delivered earlier that morning. As he poured the milk, he reached into the nearby drawer for a spoon and stuck it in the bowl.

"Did you hear me moron? You're a _dick_!"

Once again, Naruto went rigid and he slammed the bottle of milk down on the worktop. This time, however, the glass shattered noisily and milk sprayed everywhere. Naruto swore at the top of his voice and spluttered, moving away carefully, so as not to step on any broken glass. His shirt and black pants were soaked and he would soon stink of milk. Knowing he would now certainly be late for work, Naruto's mood worsened drastically and he spun around, intending to leave the kitchen.

"Oh, for fuck's sake." He muttered impatiently.

Sasuke was leaning languidly against the doorway, dressed only in a pair of tight black jeans, his tight, defined torso deliciously exposed. His pretty face was schooled into a mocking, snooty expression as he smirked at the mess on the floor. He slowly raised his dark, intense gaze to Naruto and regarded him scornfully. Naruto clenched his fists and waited for some catty, bitchy comment about how clumsy he was - but it never came.

Instead, Sasuke snorted and brushed past him with infuriating grace and took some kitchen towel from the appropriate cupboard to begin cleaning up.

Naruto contemplated continuing - or reigniting - their argument, but thought it would be foolish, considering Sasuke so willingly took on the role of maid in this situation. He sighed, finally allowing himself to relax a little, and made his way to the bathroom for a second shower.

"Idiot."

He heard the word, uttered in a low voice, not intended to be heard, and it enraged him. He turned back sharply and stomped back into the kitchen, breathing like a pissed-of bull through his nose.

"Listen, Sasuke - I'm sick to death of your sarky little comments all the time!" He snapped. Sasuke, crouched down on the floor with a wet towel, a dust-pan and a brush, looked up at him silently. "You think I'm a dick? Well, that's fine, cus you made it pretty clear last night just how much of a _slut_ you are!"

In a flash, Sasuke was standing and his mouth - is pretty little mouth - was a tense line, his jaw clenched and eyes burning.

"A slut?" He repeated in disbelief. "You're a _pig_, Naruto. Do yourself a favour and grow the hell up."

"Grow up?" Naruto growled, he shook his head to express his sudden confusion, then adopted a falsely apologetic expression, raising his hands defensively. "Well, _excuse me_ if I'm not comfortable with you dressing like a hooker and letting every single guy treat you like a piece of meat!"

"Well _I'm _sorry that the only male attention I get is from every guy _except _my boyfriend!" Sasuke snarled furiously, abandoning the puddle of milk and mountain of glass shards. "I'm _sorry_ that you think jeans and t-shirts are the accepted uniform of all the hookers out there! I'm _so_ sorry -"

"Oh shut the fuck up Sasuke!" Naruto yelled. Sasuke, at least, had the good grace to look taken aback by the volume Naruto had suddenly adopted. "You _know_ how busy work is right now! The _last_ thing I need is you bitching away at me all day and night -"

"Work can't be _that _busy, Naruto, if you had time to go out with me last night. Are you sure you're not just worked up because _Neji_ is doing so much better than yo-"

"Why don't you just go to _your_work, Sasuke? God _knows_ we all need more _secretaries i_n the worl-"

"Don't you _dare_ talk down to me just because my job isn't quite as important as yours. Truth be told, if I ever needed a doctor, I'd rather _die_ than let _you_ take care of m-"

"You'd be lucky if _anyone_ would look after you, you selfish, bitchy -"

"You're such a _loser_. You're pathetic, I don't know what I ever saw in -"

"You're a bitch!"

"Idiot!"

"Asshole!"

"Son of a -"

_HONK! HONK!_

Sasuke broke off, breathing slightly harder, and looked past Naruto's shoulder, as if expecting to see a car in the hallway_. _He rolled his shoulders and looked up at Naruto with an indiscernible expression - although it still made Naruto angry.

"There's your ride." He said softly, as if he thought it was laughable that Naruto had been forced to ask his friend Kiba to drive him to work for the past two weeks, as his car was in the garage after a rather serious crash. Sasuke's gaze was scornful and mocking and unbearable to Naruto, who turned away to get his shoes and suit jacket.

His movements lacked any emotion, any anger and the spacious apartment was filled with a tense, buzzing silence. He listened, in case Sasuke resumed his mopping up, but there was no sound from the kitchen. He finished tying his shoes - Sasuke had polished them on Saturday - and pulled his suit jacket on, buttoning it up over his white shirt and orange tie. Suddenly, everything seemed much louder, given the uncomfortable silence he was experiencing.

The click of the door opening was deafening, and Naruto actually winced at it before he left the apartment and Sasuke.

Kiba was waiting directly outside the building in his brand-new, electric blue BMW. It made Naruto miss his own car so achingly that he almost forgot his blistering argument with Sasuke. He threw himself into the car forcefully and groaned loudly as soon as they were speeding down the street.

"Rough morning?" Kiba asked unnecessarily.

"Don't get me started," Naruto grumbled warningly, then launched into a full-blown tirade against Sasuke.

"You know where I took him last night? _Lithium_. You know, that new club next to Jiraiya's? I took him there on it's _second_ night! Do you _know_ how hard it is to get on that list? Hell, the only reason _we_got on it is because Jiraiya himself is on good terms with the owner. It still cost a freaking _bomb_, what with drinks and shit. And you should have _seen_ him - wearing these skintight jeans and this skintight T-shirt - he was _asking_ for all this 'unwanted attention' he's always moaning about. He dressed like _that_ and all these guys are eyeing him up _blatantly_, as if I'm not even _there_. And he doesn't do anything to stop them! He says 'just ignore them' of all things!"

"Umm..."

"So I say to him, you know, that I don't like the way these guys are looking at him. I try to be nice about it, but he - he doesn't _get_ it! He doesn't _understand_ that those guys are just waiting for him to get drunk enough not to know what he's saying. I was trying to _protect_ him. So I drag him out. I forced him to leave - it was only about nine, but I didn't want him to get hurt. And _he's_ a total bitch about it, telling me I'm a control freak - me! And saying that I never let him wear sexy clothes anymore and that I'm always so jealous of other _'irrelevant'_ men. Then, this morning, he's _still_ mad! _Still_ won't drop it, even though I'm _trying_ to tell him _why_ I did what I did and -"

"Uh, hang on, Naruto." Kiba said hesitantly, sniffing the air. "It's not that I don't care at all about your frequent domestics with Sasuke, but can you _smell_ something?"

"Smell something?" Naruto repeated, a little breathless from his impassioned rant.

"Yeah..." Kiba's brow was furrowed and he inhaled deeply. "Like... milk."

Naruto's jaw dropped and his eyes popped in realisation. For a few minutes, he was speechless as it dawned on his that his quarrel with Sasuke had made him forget he needed to shower and change out of his then wet (now dry) clothes before he went to work.

"Oh, for _fuck's_ sake." He exploded.

* * *

Ta-da.

So, that's the first chapter of a fic which will, after completion, be accompanied by a prequel (or two) and a sequel (or two).

I wrote this in one sitting, so I do apologise for any mistakes I've made. Let me know and I'll be glad to fix them.

Next chapter - Sasuke's feelings about the whole to-do.

In this fic, the emotions may seem very strong and sudden, but it will make more sense later on. I'm really, really sorry if Naruto seems OOC, although it is intentional to an extent. I hope he's still likable, though - at least a little? Hmm. Like I said, everything will make sense in time.

READ AND REVIEW! READ AND REVIEW! EXPECT AN UPDATE THIS TIME NEXT WEEK! READ AND REVIEW! READ AND REVIEW!

Please :3


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